Matthew 18:21-22
Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times? “Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
All of us at some time or another become frustrated with the people around us: spouses, children, friends, colleagues, and others. Sometimes our frustrations are small and seemingly insignificant (until they steadily accumulate). Other times they are heavier, leaving wounds that linger. What is clear is that frustration can become a significant barrier to peace.
In Matthew 18:21-22, Peter asks Jesus a question that remains all too relevant today: “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” In other words, “When can I faithfully stop forgiving?” Jesus’ response is striking: “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.” Here, Jesus does not intend for us to tally up offenses until it surpasses 490. According to Jesus, forgiveness is not something we count; it is a way of life, a continual decision to release others from their debts to us.
Of course, this kind of forgiveness is challenging. It runs counter to our instinct toward self-protection and fairness. It also requires courage. The courage to honestly face our wounds and entrust them to the God who fully understands our pain. As we endeavor to obey Christ in this regard, it can be helpful to remember that forgiveness is not merely an act of obedience toward God and mercy toward others. Forgiveness is also one of the primary ways God restores peace within us. Unforgiveness hardens our hearts, keeps us locked in rumination, and magnifies our hurt. In contrast, forgiveness opens our hearts to healing and freedom.
Forgiveness is thus a way of preparing for Christ’s coming during Advent. Just as John the Baptist proclaimed, “Prepare the way of the Lord, make straight paths for Him,” forgiveness clears away the obstacles that make it difficult for the peace of Christ to rule in our hearts. In the season of waiting, we are invited to practice forgiveness as a way of making room for him in our lives.
Today, let us find a moment to reflect on the people in our lives who hurt, frustrate, or anger us. First, let us courageously acknowledge the reality of our hurts, presenting them honestly before the Lord. Next, let us invite Christ into those guarded places of our hearts where hardening often begins to take root. Finally, let us surrender our pain to Emmanuel who forgave our own sins, and make the decision to forgive those who have wronged us. In this simple yet difficult task, we prepare our hearts for his coming opening ourselves to God’s peace, which not only heals our hearts but also makes it easier to extend forgiveness to others.